Etiquette Tips

We’ve developed a brief guide to assist you in showing respect and having a serene experience at the cemetery. This guide outlines key etiquette tips to honor the departed while respecting the surroundings. Whether you are attending a burial service or visiting a loved one's grave, our suggestions address suitable behavior, dress code, and interactions with fellow visitors. By adhering to these guidelines, you contribute to a calm and respectful atmosphere, enabling everyone to find peace and comfort during their visits.

Do:

Express your condolences

Finding the right words to say to someone who has recently lost a loved one can be challenging. You don’t need to be a poet to express your condolences. Simply saying, “I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,” is enough. If you cannot attend the funeral in person, sending a card or leaving a message on a memorial website is a thoughtful way to convey your sympathy.

Dress appropriately

Times have changed, and wearing all black for a funeral is no longer a requirement. However, dressing in jeans and a t-shirt is also inappropriate. It’s important to still dress nicely and modestly, steering clear of bright or flashy colors. Aim for an outfit that you would wear to a wedding or a job interview.

Sign the register book

The family will keep the register book as a memento for years. Please provide your full name and your relationship to the deceased. You are also invited to leave a message.

Give a gift

You don’t need to go overboard with your gift; it’s the thought that counts. Suitable options include flowers, a donation to the family’s chosen charity, or a commitment of service, like cooking dinner or helping with household chores. Be sure to include a signed card so the family knows who gave the gift.

Keep in Touch

You might think that the family needs their space and time to grieve, but a simple phone call or note after the funeral lets the family know you care. With social networking, leaving a quick note is as simple as a click of a mouse. The months following a death is when grieving friends and family need the most support.

Don't:

Bring your cell phone

Please remember the following:

Your phone ringing would be highly inappropriate and would cause a disturbance. Turn off any ringers or notifications. Even better, leave your phone at home or in your car. A funeral is not the time to be texting or checking your messages.

Allow your children to be a distraction

From a very young age, children are aware of death, and if the funeral is for someone that was close to them (grandparent, aunt, uncle), they should be given the option of attending. If it is not appropriate for your child to be there, or if you feel they will cause a commotion, it might be best to find appropriate care for them for the day.

Be afraid to remember the good times

Funerals are obviously a time of grieving and mourning, but remembering the good times helps with the healing process. Sharing a funny and appropriate story is acceptable, and in some cases, it's exactly what the deceased would have wanted.